“Are you working hard enough?” the instructor asked.

I paused and looked sideways.

I nodded yes, my eyebrows knitting together.

"Can you feel burning in your quads?" he probed.

"Yes. I can," I replied.

“Really? Are you telling me the truth? This is what you’re here for, you know.”

I was taken aback.

As a former group fitness instructor, I knew this was a no-no. Participants know their own bodies best. This is especially true when someone is new and has disclosed injuries upfront. Questioning effort crosses a boundary. Instructors should offer guidance and options—not pressure or interrogation.

This experience made me wonder how many others have felt the same unease in spaces meant to be safe—whether gyms, churches, support groups, classes, or counseling. How many have quietly braced themselves, doubted their own feelings and experiences, or simply stopped coming back without ever naming why?

My body tensed.
My breath shortened.
Peace vanished.
And the excitement of trying something new fizzled out.

As a trauma-informed Christian nervous system coach, I see this pattern often. Many believers feel anxiety because their bodies don’t feel safe in certain spaces. The people in authority—though often well-meaning—may not understand how trauma, chronic stress, or physical limitations affect the nervous system.

When authority is applied as pressure rather than guidance, the body perceives threat instead of support, and safety is lost. Sometimes trust is lost, too. Anxiety is not a sign of weak faith; in experiences like mine, it arises because leadership feels unsafe.

Why This Happens More Than We Realize

Most people—including well-meaning leaders, teachers, and “experts”—aren’t trauma-informed. That doesn’t mean they are trying to be unkind; it simply means they may not understand how trauma, stress, grief, or injury affect the body’s responses.

So when someone hears:

• “Just push through it.”
• “You should be past this by now.”
• “If you trusted God more, this wouldn’t still be happening.”

It’s not necessarily ill intent—but a sign of limited awareness. 

For a nervous system shaped by trauma, pressure doesn’t produce growth. It triggers bracing. Breathing becomes shallow. Clarity fades. The body reacts before the mind has time to reason.

This isn’t rebellion—it’s biology and God’s design. Our bodies are created to respond to safety and threat, and honoring these signals matters.

God does not pressure or force. He works with care and patience.

“A bruised reed He will not break, and a smoldering wick He will not quench.” (Isaiah 42:3)

Just as God honors our experiences and limits (temporary or long-term), humans respond best in spaces that honor them, too.

Anxiety in these moments is not a lack of faith—it’s a signal that the space does not feel safe for your nervous system.

One Size Does Not Fit All 

What strengthens one may overwhelm another. What motivates one individual may threaten another. That’s why one-size-fits-all guidance often misses the mark—in fitness, church, or therapy.

If a space repeatedly leaves your body tense and your spirit unsettled, God's wisdom may be inviting you to find a different environment, perhaps one that is trauma-informed.

That might mean:
A different class or small group.
A different church community.
A different therapeutic path.

They may not understand—and that’s okay.

Leaving a space that feels unsafe is not disobedience. It is discernment. 

“The prudent see danger and take refuge.” (Proverbs 22:3)

Discernment vs. Submission

Scriptural submission means obedience to God—not enduring harm to prove faithfulness. It’s not ignoring your body’s warnings or sacrificing peace in the name of spirituality or fitting in.

“God is not a God of confusion, but of peace.” (1 Corinthians 14:33)

When peace consistently leaves, pay attention. It's a signal to become curious about.

This isn't about being seeing danger everywhere. Discernment is different from that. It's the quiet, God-given wisdom to recognize when a space truly isn't for you — and the courage to trust what your body and the Holy Spirit are telling you. 

And for many, learning to trust your God-given intuition is a skill that has to be rebuilt. Trauma, abuse, and years of having your experience questioned can cause you to unlearn it.

That's not a character flaw — it's a wound. And it can heal.

When You’re Questioned: Short Boundary Responses

You don’t owe explanations to those unwilling—or unable—to understand:

• “This is appropriate for my body today.” 
• “I know my limits.” 
• “I am seeking God faithfully in this season.” 
• “This doesn’t feel supportive for me.” 

Simple. Clear. Enough.

When Anxiety Strikes, the Body Needs Safety

If moments like these leave you anxious, unsettled, or on edge, your body is asking for support—not correction.

That’s why I created a short Biblical Breathwork™ audio called “When Anxiety Strikes”—a tool to help your nervous system settle in God’s presence.

This isn’t about praying the “right” way or “harder”. It’s about letting your breath align with God’s truth—so your body can experience the peace God already offers.

👉 I invite you to download “When Anxiety Strikes”

It's a Scripture-centered breath practice for moments where your nervous system needs safety through God’s peace and presence.

God doesn’t ask you to abandon wisdom and discernment to be faithful.
He invites you to walk in peace and spaces that foster safe growth.

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” (John 14:27, NIV)

May God’s peace surround you and guide you into spaces of felt safety. For me, that class isn't it.

Blessings,

Julie